Balance

“Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.” ~ Barbara De Angelis

If we don't allow ourselves time to reflect and rest we are more likely going to give everything we have to everyone else and not feel the effect until it is too late.  As summer has set in and I've completed a full week of working, then coming home to walk dogs and lounge by the pool while reading mindless books I realize that I am finally feeling myself again.  I am finally feeling rested and less agitated.  I think I spread myself a little thin over the last 5 months.  I am finally on summer break and I have graduated with my associates.  I have paper proof of where most of ME went this last semester.  I gave myself up in order to get my degree, to earn a paycheck, to be everywhere everyone needed me to be.  Now as I sit by the pool each afternoon and soak up the warm sun while allowing myself to slip into whatever book I'm reading that day I realize that I am back to ME! 

“There’s no secret to balance. You just have to feel the waves” ~Frank Herbert

I don't regret this last semester.  I don't regret working hard to maintain grades, maintain my home, maintain my relationships.  I only regret that I didn't get to give everyone the best parts of me.  Everything I did was the best of what I had left over.  Now that I recover I realize I can go into all situations alert and able to give 100% of my best!  I am able to carry a conversation better, think more rationally, sleep more restfully, clean more thoroughly, love more deeply.  All because I have allowed myself to rest.  I had times during the semester when I was sick (more than any previous semester) and I attribute it to God trying to tell me to slow down to rest.  Did I listen?  Not really.  Once I was feeling better I dove back in and swam all the way down to the bottom, by the time I got there I was already gasping for air and hoping to make it through.  God had his hand on me this semester.  He helped me finish strong and he has shown me how much I should value my time.  In return I must make more time for him.  I must find a way to incorporate him so that I can obtain the fullness of rest he can provide. 

For now....if you are looking for me....I'll be balancing my time between working & resting.