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If you are new, thanks for stopping by!
Last week we talked about Eve and the original sin.
Today I am going to talk to you about what many of us married folk consider the worst sin.
I know, I know, in God's eyes all sins are equally bad.
However, if you are in a relationship, even just dating there is probably one sin that you would have a hard time forgiving.
After all we have all lied and possibly even coveted.
But cheating/adultery is that sin that causes your heart to sink, your stomach to churn, and your body to feel repulsed.
Let's get started.
Chapter 2: Potiphar's Wife
The book brings to our attention something we may not think about often.
Potiphar's wife is without a name.
Okay, she has a name, but it isn't mentioned.
She is simply referred to as the wife of Potiphar.
How often do you refer to people as, "The mother/father of, the sister/brother of, the such and such and so and so of"?
It doesn't seem like a big deal, unless of course you are the person being referred to.
Sometimes we get lost in the identity of what we do instead of who we really are.
I am so guilty of forgetting people's names that I now preface it upon initial introductions!
"Please forgive me, but I am terrible with names, so I hope you won't be offended if I ask you what it is again later," that is my typical opening line.
In this story Potiphar's wife is feeling, what I can only assume to be a sense of lose.
Her husband is a big body guard/security detail type guy whose focus is more often on what goes in his belly.
He hire's Joseph to handle all his affairs.
But in Potiphar's wife's eyes there is still no one handling her!
She is growing lonelier by the day, until she realizes how handsome Joseph is.
She hatches a plan to fulfill her bodily desires.
Unfortunate for her though Joseph is able to restrain himself.
Potiphar's wife feels foolish.
So in order to protect herself she keeps an item of Joseph's clothing that she tore off of him and then she cries wolf!
Potiphar believes Joseph, but still he punishes him.
Prison instead of death though, God was watching out for him.
As far as we know Potiphar's wife gets away with lying and attempted adultery.
So we can easily see why she is considered a Bad Girl of the Bible.
Read the following verses:
Ephesians 4:18-19 Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity.
Ephesians 6:11 Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.
Philippians 4:8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
With all of this said, I think all of us know that cheating is wrong.
So how does it happen?
Why does it happen?
Here are some of the top excuses for cheating:
-I was lonely, you're never around
-I thought you didn't love me anymore
-I was confused about what I wanted
-I felt taken advantage of
-It was an accident
Let's examine a few of these to see how the situations can be better avoided.
I was lonely, you are never around: I have a husband who can get called up to deploy at just about any times. That being said I could be without a husband for 3,6,12 months straight. I know that not all wives are military wives and they don't all sign up for that kind of deal, but maybe your husband works long hours at the office. Maybe his job causes him to travel a lot. In my opinion the best way to avoid falling into this trap is to find and do something you LOVE. Maybe it's time for you to go back to school. Maybe it's time for you to get a hobby or if you are able and wanting a job of some sort. The most important part is that when your significant other is around you need to be able to communicate these feelings to them. They need to know that you need attention to. It always sounds cliche´, but communication is the key to a happier, healthier marriage.
I felt taken advantage of: I get it. Especially as a stay at home mom, my job is a repeat of what I did yesterday and the day before and what I'll do tomorrow and the day after that. I clean, cook, fold, tidy, entertain, etc. Without hearing the words 'Thank You' often enough I'm sure a woman could feel taken advantage of. I'm sure that it would be so easy to fall into the trap of seeking attention elsewhere. Maybe you have come to find enjoyment out of getting checked out by other men, just to see that you've still go 'it'. Oh ladies, it's a trap. Those other men have no idea. I'm going to harp on this again, but communication is KEY!!! Tell your spouse you are feeling this way. Ask your spouse to help you by giving you some time to take care of yourself. I bet that if you could find just 30 minutes a day to have alone (either in the shower, doing a devotional, painting your toenails, etc), you might just find that you find peace in the repetition. Also, kindly remind your spouse how much you appreciate it when he shows you gratitude. Actually, better yet, try this. Start thanking your spouse for the things they do over and over and over again. I bet you before you know it, they will feel the love and start reciprocating!
And the best excuse....
It was an accident: We've all seen movies with a myriad of scenarios in which a fling is set in motion. How do we protect ourselves from this? In my opinion we must above reproach. Don't put yourself in a situation where there is a person of the opposite gender alone with you. Don't flirt, because ultimately you are flirting with danger, avoid books and movies that might fill your head with images other than that of your spouse. I am not perfect. None of us are, but I know I am not. However, I avoid steamy romance novels and movies that are primarily focuses on sexual exploitation *cough* Magic Mike *cough*. I don't mean to offend anyone, but I know that if I want to keep myself focused on my husband I should day dream about other men.
Let's get back to Potiphar's wife.
The book states that 'her obvious sin was lust, perhaps the root of Mrs. P's sin was anger. How does the same sin rear its ugly head in your won life'?
Lastly, let's end this by asking:
'What's the most important lesson you've learned from the tragic, timeless story of Potiphar's wife'?
For me it was that our sin does not affect ONLY us.
In this story Potiphar's wife's actions affected both Joseph and Potiphar.
Adultery affects not only the husband and wife, but the children (if there are any) and the family of the spouses, and the friends....so many people. It is a ripple affect.
Maybe for you it is more about learning not to react to an insecurity in a negative way.
After all Potiphar's wife was obviously battling some insecurities and handled it all the wrong way.
Can you relate to her lashing out about being ignored?
I can.
I remember an incident a few years back.
I was hanging out with friends, but I felt like a third wheel.
So instead of rationally explaining how I felt I resorted to sarcasm and quippy comments to get their attention.
Guilty?
Are you in any way shocked that you can relate to this woman of the Bible?
I hope that you have not been hurt by the affects of cheating.
If so I pray that your heart be restored.
God can fix anything, even a marriage or relationship that has been tainted by cheating.
I hope you have enjoyed this time of study.
Please let me know if you would like to see something in particular in our discussions or if you have any questions.
I hope you have a Blessed Friday!
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