Book #20: And Then I Had Kids - Susan Alexander Yates

"And Then I Had Kids" was a gift from a wonderful friend (KV) and one that I appreciate so very much!

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I do not yet have kids.
I will in about 6 months have my first child.
Right now it's easy to focus on where she is currently.
Tucked safe and sound in my womb where nothing can hurt or influence her (for the most part).
It hit me only recently that she's going to be making her grand entrance in a few short weeks and it's at that VERY moment that Bud & I's parenting really begins!
This book is a great introductory book into parenting.
There are 10 chapters that I'd like to briefly touch on.

Chapter 1: The Hassled Mother
Susan opens this book by introducing us to the fact that we are not alone.  As mothers there will be days when we think that we are the only ones struggling to raise our kids.  We may think that everyone else appears to have it all together.  Yet she assures us that we all face challenges and frustrations and that by naming those things out loud we will be able to better find ways to resolve them.

Chapter 2: Maintaining a Positive Self-Image
Frustration, Fatigue, Guilt, and Failure are all common obstacles that mothers hurdle over each day.  Again it goes back to comparing ourselves to others, being afraid to ask for help, and sometimes just taking too much onto our plates that will cause us to find fault in ourselves.

Chapter 3: Seeing Life In Seasons
Each season of our life is just that...a season.  It's temporary and although it may seem to take forever to get through it at the moment, when we reflect back we will see how quickly the time actually passed.  From Newlyweds to new parents to toddler years to teenage years to empty nest we fly through life all to often rushing towards the next season.  It's important that we relish the time and not rush it.

Chapter 4: Establishing Priorities That Work
There are 4 principles that should govern our lives: Our commitment to Christ, Our commitment to our families, Our commitment to a group of close friends, and Our commitment to our work.  The goal as a mother is to always remember our commitments and to keep them straight.  God should come first, if we honor Him we will find that everything else comes together as He has planned for us.

Chapter 5: Becoming a Best Friend in Marriage
"When you marry, you may feel you have in a sense arrived.  Marriage is often viewed as the culmination rather than the beginning.  herein lies the problem.  In reality, when we say, "I do," we are committing ourselves anew to work at the relationship."
Communication, communication, communication...cliche sounding I know, but OH SO TRUE!
Also learning to take time to grow together.  It is difficult with so many priorities and responsibilities, but continued courtship throughout marriage is vital.

Chapter 6: Solving the Discipline Dilemma
1. Determine procedures
2. Reinforce the positives
3. Establish consequences
4. Use preventative measures
5. Draw helpful distinctions

Chapter 7: Creating a Loving Atmosphere in the Home
A full chapter devoted to showing us how to Love, Forgive, Express Joy, and ultimately create an atmosphere where people, children, friends, etc want to be!

Chapter 8: Finding Good Role Models for Our Families
Biblical role models include (but are not limited to)- Eli: Model of a Poor Parent, Peter: Example of Encouragement, and Mary: Model of One Who Trusted.  However, what about earthy role models?  This chapter helps you define the qualities to look for and the proper perspective to have when searching for earthly role models.  It also closes by explaining the importance of being a role model for others.

Chapter 9: Shaping a Creative Christian Home
Prayer, Scripture, and the Encouragement of Fellowship are all vital elements in shaping a creative Christian home.
"But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him." ~James 1:5

Chapter 10: Looking Ahead to the Teen Years and Beyond
The book ends by retouching on all the previous chapters feature points and reminding us that our jobs as parents are never done.  How our children need us will and SHOULD change, but we are always going to play a vital role in their lives.  It's important to put your focus in God as a parent because we will ALWAYS need him and we can ALWAYS be role models to our children of God's love.

I apologize for the lengthy review of this book, but I felt that it was necessary for you to really get a general grasp of what each chapter has to offer.  Maybe you haven't even thought about having kids yet, maybe you've already started raising your children,  maybe your children have left the house....no matter what though this is a book that you or someone you know could benefit from!  I highly suggest gifting this book to yourself or someone you know and love!  It's been a real eye opener for me and I know it'll remain a constant reference over the coming years!

I hope you all had a Blessed Monday!

P.S. I think something is in the water lately!  I now have 43 followers!  2 MORE in the last few days.  I seriously can not express how blessed I've been feeling lately.  The comments are encouraging and I'm in prayer that I'm blessing each of you.  As always if I can pray for you in anyway please feel free to leave a comment or send me an email and I will respond to you as soon as possible!  Thank you all so much for all your support!

This week's verse to memorize:

"Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have God's Son does not have life." ~1 John 5:12