Being me means that first I was a daughter, a sister, a friend.
As I grew I eventually became a girlfriend, a wife, and now a mommy.
Each stage has it's time of growth and development.
The time when we are learning what that roles entails and we are trying to figure out how to best BE that role.
Today was one of those grass is always greener type days too.
I'm in a transitional period.
Bud would really like it if Bitsy was sleeping in her cradle, through out the night, before she hits 6 months.
Eventually she'll have a crib, once I choose one and tell my grandparents (they promised they would buy a crib for us when we were ready).
Eventually she will sleep in her own room.
But for now the work of transitioning from co-sleeping to cradle sleeping is well...difficult.
I like co-sleeping.
Heck, I LOVE co-sleeping.
It's easy and it's cozy and I think that we all sleep better...MOST nights.
And yet I know that at some point I don't want our little ones in bed with us.
Our bed needs to be our bed.
The past few nights I've worked at putting Bitsy in her cradle when I go to bed.
She wakes around 1:30-2 and I get her out and feed her and ultimately we fall asleep back in 'Our' bed.
I keep thinking that I should be stricter, that I should work more vigilantly at her sleeping in her cradle, but I don't.
Maybe that is me being lazy or tired or whatever you want to call it...but in a sense this method seems gradual.
It seems less difficult for....me I guess.
I have no doubt that she might sleep wonderfully the rest of the night if I fed her and put her back to sleep.
However, if I stand next to her cradle to feed her or if I feed her in the rocking chair by the time she's out enough to go back to bed, I'll be wide awake and ruined.
I've read books that encourage co-sleeping and family beds.
I've read books that discourage co-sleeping and are all about the cry-out methods.
My heart can not take the cry out method.
I have read other books that say she shouldn't fall asleep while being held or fed.
Other books say it's perfectly fine to feed and rock a baby to sleep!
I'm loosing my mind a little bit here, because the grass is always greener!
I talked to Bud tonight and I vented a few of these growing 'concerns' (that's not really the right word for it, but hopefully you know what I mean) and do you know what he said to me?
He gave the perfect response, "Ultimately, you are the Mom and your instincts are what you should go by".
Of course I jokingly said, "Well if it's up to my instincts than Bitsy may not end up out of our bed for a while". (Honestly, I don't know if my instincts would or would not keep her sleeping next to me)
What I do know is that books are made by people.
People all have different opinions.
And opinions are varied and vast and merely suggestions.
I am the Mom.
I know what's best for Bitsy.
Right now what is best is if not only she, but also me, gets a good night sleep.
And despite thinking that the grass may be greener the way someone else handles their little one....I'm going to stick to my side of the fence.
So I will continue to put Bitsy to bed in her bed and if she wakes to eat, I won't be surprised if she ends up in bed with me for the 2nd half of the night.
One day I'm going to wake and the sun is going to be shining and she won't have woken up for that late night feeding and I'll be surprised.
But I'll also know that I did the right thing.
I may still read some books just to see what kind of 'fertilizers' the other yards are using, but I'll have to work on my own secret recipe for my yard.
If you are a mommy...did you co-sleep? How did you transition to the crib or cradle? When did your late night feeding drop off? (Just a few questions? I'm curious about your yard care ;) )
I hope you had a Blessed Tuesday!
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First of all, LOVE the new blog look! It's beautiful!
ReplyDeleteSecond, whatever you decide to do about Bitsy sleeping and when you decide, I don't think you should stress about it while Bud is gone. Keep what's comfortable to you while you're single mommy-ing it, and then go through the bigger transition together! =)
I was strict with Lacey and she went to her crib at 2 months and slept there every night. With Miles we co-slept. We co-slept until he was 18 months or so. It was around the same time I weaned him. It was and still is miserable at bed time. Some nights he falls right asleep other nights he screams and cries for 5 minutes. You are her mommy you decide what it is right. I know that the older he got the more difficult it was to get him to his bed. No book can tell you what is right or what is wrong. You have to do what is best for you and Bitsy.
ReplyDeleteI didn't do the whole co-sleeping thing at all because my husband was afraid he'd roll over on the baby, even though I know he wouldn't. He slept next to us in his pack-n-play the first month and then transitioned into his own crib, in his own bedroom.
ReplyDeleteAlthough my son is almost one now, I didn't take the cry-it-out method seriously until he was about 9.5 months. The first two nights were the hardest. I knew he couldn't be hungry and he shouldn't be having night feeds anymore. So, I turned the monitor off and let him cry. Sure, 20 minutes in I was a wreck and wanted to check on him but after the first 2 nights of him recognizing I wasn't coming, he started to soothe himself back to sleep. Now he sleeps the whole night.
Bitsy is still young. She still needs her night feedings and it is okay for you to take advantage of the rest you get by co-sleeping. You will know when it is time to transition, there is NO reason to rush it. :)
We didn't do any co-sleeping with Eva because Henry was still sleeping with us and since he's 70 pounds, we didn't want him to smoosh her. She slept in a pack and play in our room until about 6 weeks and then in her crib. This was great for us because she's always been one that we can send to bed, tell her goodnight, and she goes to sleep. Viv? I've not been as diligent with. Henry's not in our bed, not even upstairs anymore, so Viv falls asleep with me a lot if she has a middle of the night feeding (although for a few months now, I won't feed her before 5 unless she's absolutely inconsolable - which means she's just plain hungry). Chuck does get paranoid about rolling over on her though, so she's only there about an hour until one of us wakes up and moves her back to her crib. She does sleep through the night but tries to wake up around 4:30 a lot... We used the cry it out method with Eva, but with Viv, for some reason, I'm bolting to her room as soon as she lets out a peep. Because of that, it's taking her longer to recognize that she needs to soothe back to sleep (because I'm kind of hit and miss with crying it out). Eric's right - only you guys know what's best for her. And, like this lady I used to sit for told me when Eva was born... "they slept in my bed as babies but they're all in their own beds now!" Yes, "they're" in college, but you know what? She's right! (And, they were in their own beds a long time ago.)
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